used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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