it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
