You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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