Nicole vs. Life
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
