I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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