This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
