I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
