The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i need some magic done to my vagina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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