I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
