You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
