Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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