there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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