Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

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(858): View more from California

I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".

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(320): View more from Minnesota

In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.

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(315): View more from New York

So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.

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