highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm just crazy horny about you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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