Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the condom got lost in my hair
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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