pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
