I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize