She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
