I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
