My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
