if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
