remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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