Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's JV to your varsity
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
