My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My bed smells like the plague
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
