I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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