talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
