considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I need a beard to bite.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
