I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
