yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
