For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You are a genius and a whore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
