Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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