i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
