The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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