Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
