I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
