sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
