Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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