okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
