If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
