Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
