D3 body, D1 cock
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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