She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
