So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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