Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
