im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He did a backflip because drugs
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
