Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
