either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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