a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
