It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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