we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I heard Enya coming from steveās room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I think itās appropriate to celebrate the start of motherās day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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