If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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