Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
