he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
