Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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