I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am available for nakedness
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
