Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
