Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I AM VODKA MAN
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
the raccoons are back...
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