And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
