Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
