Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
