I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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