I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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