and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
