i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She bit a glass in half.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
