I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
