We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize