Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize