too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
