I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
