there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
