yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
